Too Fast To Live, Too Young To Die...

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:50:52 GMT

HELP ME COME UP WITH A LAYOUT FOR MY NEW JOURNAL!!

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:44:58 GMT

Alrighty

so like i've been saying for months.
my new LJ is

with_uh_bullet

Add me there.
MUAH!

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 03:27:15 GMT

my septum ring's been out for like a day and a half i think its angry with me for ignoring it
it wants to close up.
i sweet talked it into submitting, though.

you've got these eyhighs

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:42:38 GMT

i wanna get all in your melanin

yeah deep in your thin skin.

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:13:22 GMT

I've never BEEN electrocuted. THAT was invigorating.

do you KNOW who i AM?

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 16:54:16 GMT

I'm going back to being cryptic.
Honest to god updates are boring, and frankly, no one cares.
I mean, they probably dont.

Thinking of my new hair and Beatle Boots and Bobby D and this whole big, amazing, crazy place to which i've just moved.

Things suck.

But this city does have its moments.

right this way, past the velvet ropes and adoring masses.

The hot chocolate isnt chocolatey enough.

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:32:10 GMT

1) Where is the person you want to see most?
Flagstaff.

2) Where will you be 2 hours from now?
At work. probably on the 16th floor.

3) Last kiss?
goodbye(for now)

4) Does your ex miss you?
likely not.

5) Does anyone love you?
someone.

6) Can you make yourself sneeze?
no.

8) What are you doing tomorrow?
tomorrow i'm going to school and working. i need to get cupcakes soon or i'll die.

9) Are you easily confused?
Sometimes. depends on whats going on.

10) Do you think you would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
not really. i think i try, but i think i'm not a natural. story of my life.

11) Where were you at 9am this morning?
in bed. <3 got rid of my guilt for missing writing by sending an email to Hein and apologizing. see? quick fix.

13) Everything happens for a reason?
in some fucked up place, yes.

14) Last time you drank?
(i'm drinking juice, now)

16) What does the last message in your inbox say?
on... my phone? "figures. no worries"
from rich
uh....
awkward...

17) Did you sing at all today?
i can't ever stop myself. ever ever.

18) What are you listening to right now?
Get Togethers.

19) How has the week been?
Busy. zoo-filled. <3

20) Who has texted you in the last 24 hours?
Puppy, Kitten, Blue, Roomie, Pocket-Sized, denver, Mrs. Oberst, Scene

21) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yes.

22) Does the last person who slept in your bed mean anything to you?
Yes.

23) Do you sleep with the TV on?
Not here. When i'm alone, i do.

24) Are you too forgiving?
Always.

26) Have you ever wanted to be a fire-fighter?
I dont think that was ever even an option.

27) Are any of your friends taller than you?
Most.

29) Who do you really miss?
Lots of People

30) What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Juice. <3

31) Are you signed onto AIM?
Yes

32) If you could have any car what would it be?
i wouldnt, unless it was Ronnie.

33) What are you stressed out about?
everything?

34) Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
money, keys, etc.

35) How many windows are open on your computer?
8

36) In the past week have you gotten sick?
no. maybe

37) In the past week have you gotten your hair cut?
No.

38) How many profile views do you have?
no Idea.

40) What can't you wait for?
something to do.

41) What do you do with most of your time?
Work. school.

43) On a scale of 1-10 how good is life?
9, but very confusing.

44) Will you and your ex ever get back together?
No.

45) Will you be in a relationship in 4 months?
who knows?

47) Has anybody on your top friends ever admitted to liking you?
yeah

48) Do you think you'll be a good mother/father?
hahah no.

49) Are you high-maintainence?
no, but i'm high-surveillance

50) Are you happy with the way life is going?
Yes

51) Are you dating anyone?
yes

52) What item could you not go without during the day?
phone.

53) Can you easily tell if someone's fake?
nope

54) Do you think you're dumb?
always

55) Do you love someone at the moment?
Yes

56) How's your heart?
too big for my chest

57) Are you impatient?
yes

58) What are you doing this weekend?
kickin it

59) What are you thinking about right now?
Work.

60) Are you mad at anyone right now?
No.

all the details, ya feel it in yer entrails

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 06:34:25 GMT

No more being cryptic. an honest-to-god update.

Within the last two weeks, i've left Clackamas and am now sheep in the big city.
Classes have started, and they're alright. i've decided that walking to work in the rain will be an issue, however, and i'll just have to start changing when i get there.

My roommate is a doll. She and i get along fine and we go out and do things all the time, which is great. we've had bird lady adventures, amongst others. so never a dull moment.
This morning i nursed a stomach ache like none other with Naked Superfood Green Machine and ritz crackers.
I am enjoying being on my own, per se.

I feel like since high school ended, i have been able to get rid of everyone and everything that i was only keeping around to be cordial.
i have a whole wave of new people in my life, and i'm sort of exactly where i want to be, as far as opportunities go.
I have a big city for myself now and i'm not feeling so oppressed and i'm limiting my carbon footprint and i'm not scared right now.
i made some friends.
oddballs, surprised?
But i still have a few select people from high school who i have to keep around because i love them.
but isn't it funny, it only really includes 3 people.
being kika, meghan and emily.

Things are strange.
I find myself acting like a child, which i think can be fair considering i spent the last year uptight and too serious for my own good.
i get upset too easily, so now when i decide to jump on someone's bed and wear Shark Mittens, i just feel like things are too much fun to just sit around and pout all the time.
i feel the need to be constantly stimulated, because i holed myself up in my room for the last year just hating everything and everyone.

i'm falling in love all over again, and i dont think he understands that.
he shrugs it off because its all the same to him.

but here i am, jumping on this bed.
trying to confess my undying love

just let go of it all
everything will happen, everything will settle into place.
everything.

i fucking LOVE you.

i wanna shake yer shaky hands.

Writer's Block: Work Clothes

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:21:27 GMT

Remember the bodysuit? Fashion designer Donna Karan, who changed the way career women dressed in the 1980s, turns 60 today. Office dress codes have relaxed since then, but every workplace has its own rules. What passes for appropriate where you work? Is there anything you can't wear to work?

View 495 Answers

i hate not being able to look funny at work.
i want pink hair!
ugh.
stupid law firms

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:46:08 GMT

Nobody has posted anything for my friends page in.... 5 days.

I'm so BORED.
there's a man who came into the computer lab, and he keeps grunting and mumbling and saying "shit"
awkwarddddd
he and i are the only ones in here

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:32:21 GMT

why are people idiots?

My Women's studies TA today said "i'd like to go around and do introductions. Just say your name and your major and your pronoun preference. Like, i'm Elena, i am a women's studies major and i go by gender-neutral pronouns like 'they, theirs, them' or 'elena'"

and i swear to GOD EVERYONE BUT ME AND TWO OTHER GIRLS said
"hi. i'm melanie. um.. i'm a busness major. you can call me whatever. i dont have a preference. um... some people just call me mel."

it's like, if i walked up and called Melanie a "he" she'd be really offended.
but she basically said it was cool.

seriously.

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:20:30 GMT

blahhhgh
First day of classes.
i am so tired i could DIIIIIIE.

After Writing, though, i'm coming back here to take out the trash and sleep some more.
Sounds like a plan to me.
i swear to god if i'm late to work, i'll punch myself.
why would i schedule a class that ends ten minutes before work?
if class runs late at all, i'm screwed.

I should get a skateboard.
Yup.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Realistic Wiggle

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:49:59 GMT

It seems like we've spent the last three years DYING for this day, and when it comes, there's so much fear and so much hesitance that we can't just be happy like we said we would.

I'm ready for it, why aren't you?

i promised i'd be yours, didn't i?

:]

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 03:57:43 GMT

Today i spilled soup in my crotch.

I ate it anyway

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:58:26 GMT

Would you date someone 8 years older than you?
I already do. (you're so oooooooold. get in my mouth, little rabbit. i'll carry you to my sixth story cave.)

What were you doing at 4am this morning?
Sleeping

Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?
Sean. He's my beef

What is the last card game you played?
Uno, probably. I lost.

Would you get drunk because it was the cool thing to do?
if someone's telling me it'll make me cool, i'd probably just throw the drink in ther face and leave.

Have you kissed someone in the past week?
yeah :]

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
if i miss his lips and end up kissing something else, yes.

Where are your siblings?
Denver, and school.

When's the last time you cried?
not sure. a couple days ago.

Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?
It was probably the pupster. So very yes

Do you still talk to the person you last dated?
hahahhahaha no.
I thought he was an asshole then, and i still think so.
i guess i feel bad saying that... but i just never liked him. and i lied to him a lot so i'm probably an asshole too. but yeah...

Do you know a secret about your ex and if he/she pisses you off will you tell ?
Well, maybe i did three years ago, but now anything that was a secret is probably totally irrelevant and i dont know who i'd tell anyway

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest/fastest for?
Yeah.

Have you ever made out with someone older than you?
hahahha. oooooold mannnnnnn phillllipppppp

Can you take a bra off with one hand?
Well... i have been wearing one for EVER so yes.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Probably not. I think things are pretty ok.

How long have you been breathing?
nearly nineteen years. I'm the same age as Holly GOlightly and i have done less than half of what she has. Everyone has more fun than i do.

Do you want to be in a relationship?
Yes.

Who was the last person to lay in a bed with you?
pupster

Where was the last place you slept besides your bed?
Phil's bed.

Do you want kids?
um.. not really.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
yeah. kind of.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
not really.

Are you involved with anyone?
What kind of a question is that? Everyone's involved with everyone is some way or another.

What were your first thoughts this morning?
Nothing really.

Are you a jealous person?
Envious is a better word.

How do you take your coffee?
black. but i prefer tea.

What is your usual drink of choice
water, or tea.

Do you watch the news?
I used to at my house. but the tv's been on line once here.

Do you like to cook?
yeah

Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
yes.

Did you date anyone last summer?
yessh

Do you currently have a hickey?
Noooope

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, which?
Water

Do you have older or younger siblings?
both

How old are they?
14 and 21

Have you questioned any people that are in your life lately?
?

Have you ever had your heart broken?
yeah

A random girl comes up to you and says "who the hell are you?" what do you say back?
i don't. i just knock her teeth out and walk away.

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A fork.

What does your last incoming text message say?
too long to type...

The last song you listened to?
Head over Feet

Where is your girlfriend/boyfriend right now?
Work.

What did you do yesterday?
Worked, mostly

Who was the last person that helped you stop crying?
No one.

What do you really think happened to Steve on Blues Clues?
He dropped the show to become a rock star! hahaha for real.

Who is your most religious friend?
I don't know...

Who do you trust with your life?
I dunno...

If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Layla.

What would you say if someone told you they loved you?
Depends on who it is

Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
in the tub, not the shower

Are you afraid of falling in love?
not anymore

What is your middle name?
Elizabeth theodora

Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
Beer, cuz that was hannah's answer.

Ever had plastic surgery?
Nope.

Who knows you the best?
Puppy.

Have you ever been to Mexico?
yeeep

Did you buy something yesterday?
Um... i dont think so...

Did you miss anyone today?
puppydog

Did you get in a fight with someone today?
No

Last person to lay in your bed?
me

Who do you think is going to repost this after you?
eh

Are you happy right now?
Yes

Are you hungry?
Nope

Are you a forgiving person?
Yes. sometimes tahts bad

Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
No. nor with anyone

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:20:10 GMT

I'm sick of running into pictures of scene girls everytime i try to look up certain things online.
I'm sick of their piercings everywhere that will probably disable them from getting jobs, but they have money, most of them. so it's ok.
and i'm sick of their huge hair thats probably half fake. I mean, i'm all for extensions and stuff, but i dont think you should get them just so you can wear them just like everyone else.
I'm sick of them having crazy coloured hair and taking pictures of themselves in their underwear.
WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS IN THEIR UNDERWEAR?

but i'm also jealous of their Tiny, perfect makeup, cute clothes, photogenic, cute selves.
Also, since when was that the "scene"?
because it was called "scene" before anyone started dressing like that.
So...

isnt it supposed to be "scene" once it catches on?

i don't know.

i just need a fucking haircut and some new clothes and maybes a wig so i can dye my hair again cuz i miss being funnylooking.

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 04:11:53 GMT

What bill do you hate paying the most?
the... bill that i dont have to pay yet that will come when i'm done with college.

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
um... ?

If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
stay away from boys who suck.

1st grade teachers name?
mrs. utz

What do you really want to be doing right now?
Setting up the birthday party we're gonna have in the halls on thursday.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
still in love

How many colleges did you attend?
one

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
it was on top.

What are your thoughts on gas prices?
they keep making bus fare go up.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
no alarm.

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
hrmph. rachels home.

Do you miss being a child?
not really.. i was stuck in crapville. i miss being sixteen, minus the crapville.

What errand/chore do you despise?
oh i hate washing dishes

If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
yeah.

Get up early or sleep in?
Get up early.

What is your favorite cartoon character?
Tank Girl.

Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
I like cuddling up with a movie.
and if it turns into a popcorn fight, so be it.

Have you found real love yet?
mmmmm <3

When did you first start feeling old?
I havent.
well i always feel old, in a bad way.
but eh.

What is your favorite lunch meat?
toooofurkey

What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
fake eyelashes

beach or lake?
lake

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
well, kind of. i mean, if you're just gonna live toegther for seven years, why bother with the officiality?

Do you own property?
hahahha no

Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out?
nah. none of those

What's your drink?
tab

Cowboys or Indians?
depends on the day

Cops or Robbers?
Robbers

Who from high school would you like to run in to?
Soleil, Emily, Pommer.

Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
neitherrrr

Grey's or 'The Office?
office

Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
we don't sit.

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Agyness Deyn

Indoors or Outdoors?
Outdoors

Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
no, but i've been smooshed.

Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
no. nor for any other purpose

Last book you read?
breakfast at tiffany's

Do you have a teddy bear?
no, i have immelman.

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
i usually brush them in fairly regular places. such as my mouth

Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
LA to see His Orchestra

Do you go to church?
nope

How old are you?
18

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:53:18 GMT

Rachel and i already had a Radio Shack adventure

WHAT is that guy's malfunction?

(come visit me)

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 01:28:24 GMT

So.

I'm home.

shitty day from shitville

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 03:06:21 GMT

Veronica died today.

She's my '91 Corolla.

She's my baby.

Her clutch is screwed.

Basically i can't shift.

i was on the interstate in 4th gear (instead of 5th) because i was scared that:
A) i would not be able to get it into fifth, and thus be stuck in neutral and not able to accelerate or anything
B) i would get it into fifth and not be able to get it out, and you can't very well start a car in fifth gear.

So i made it from lloyd center to the exit ramp (off of 205 onto Sunnyside) and couldnt get her in gear to go. So i pulled over, called my mother and turned on my hazards.

I shut her off, tricked her into first gear and drove to meet my dad at a convenience store parking lot. When he got there, i tricked Ronnie into second and managed to get her home, the back way, though i killed her twice at a stop sign. not my fault.

Until next week when we can possibly get her looked at, Ronnie is out of commission and seriously, folks, i sweet talked her the whole way home.

imagine driving down the street and seeing the person in the shitmobile next to you rubbing the steering wheel and saying "shhh baby. it's ok. we'll get ya home. just gotta stay in second for a while, but when we get home you can rest and we'll park you in dad's spot and we'll be just fine.
Shhh just gotta get home babe"

Well, sweet-talking works.

i didnt die

but now i have a hat to finish making for el boyfriendo
and then i'm finishing (hopefully) packing.

Yup
Thiiiiiiis close.

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:35:57 GMT

well.
i move out a week from tomorrow.
i would love to spend my week seeing people. but it looks instead like i'll have to spend it cleaning/packing.

my clothes are all set, its just everything else that's a mess.

Holy god.
i just want it over with.

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 17:49:41 GMT

i want blue hair.
really bad.

i dont REALLY want to have to bleach it cuz i'm worried one of these days i'll regret it
but still.
I want to be cute again.
At least when i was funny looking i was a curiosity
now i'm just a bore.

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 06:43:02 GMT

i dont know if you got the memo

but they let jerks like me play around with photo filters nowadays

i lurve my bestie
(we look like we're in a really overrated "indie" movie)

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 05:44:48 GMT

i really love the picture at :37
because nudey looks like a movie star

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:43:55 GMT

18 days until i move out.
that number seems so small!
i'm excited. trying to clean up around here... trying to clean my room, etc.

I'm nervous to get out, because i want things to work.
i've also been really stressed out lately about who i am and how i act and what i look like.
i just dont feel like i'm enough. like i'm satisfyed just sitting around and letting everything happen.
i need to start running or something.

18 days.
Do i even have enough time to pack in 18 days?